Modern Drunkard Logo Drinking Face Mask

  • Rating: 8
  • Value: 9
Price Range:
Modern Drunkard Logo Drink Mask

A Great Way to Enjoy Safer Drinking!

Notes: This is a facemask from our friends over at Modern Drunkard Magazine.  Their main online presence is at, which has a lot of great articles. Most of these will make you feel better about your habits, and a lot of good practical advice ( the 86 Rules of Boozing should be a required college if not a high school course). They also have a page of merchandise, everything from T-Shirts, posters, coolers, flags, hats, drinkware, and of course, masks. There are several designs to choose from.

Appearance: Well made looking and fits well. Nice fit and finish to it, decent sewing, attractive graphics.

First Impression: Double thickness mask with a good quality one piece of elastic that is attached at the bottom corners of the mask. This makes for a better fit and fewer failure points on the mask. Elastic is wide and fabric-covered so less rubbing. A fairly heavy-duty metal grommet is at the center of the mask with a good quality silicone O ring and stopper with a pull tab so you can seal up the mask when not drinking ( or smoking a cigarette, or whatever else you like). Decent quality screen printing of the Modern Drunkard Logo. Drinking port/hole is below the martini glass and directly between the crossed Scimitars> This mask nicely symmetrical centering and conveniently lower drinking port placement than the “WE CAN DRINK THROUGH THIS” mask.  Straw is a longer than usual semi-clear straw with an extended bendable area to get to your beverage without having to haunch over it so easier to maintain eye contact with other patrons and more importantly, the bartender.

Testing: Worked well in our field trials. Easy to use. To clean the straw just ask for a glass of water and drink some of it. OK, I try not to be seen drinking water in public but this is a handy excuse for some hydration and cleaning the straw. When it gets too hard to use it may be time to think about doing something else for a while. Mask may also help keep your breath harder to detect at that DWI checkpoint, or as a later defense against probable cause. Not that we recommend drinking and driving, or guarantee that it might work. Just a thought. Also protects your Uber or Lyft driver and MIGHT make you less likely to get tossed by them. Again a theory but worth a try.

Drinks: It can be used for either cocktails or beer. Probably for nonalcoholic beverages too, but did not bother trying it out with any of those.

Packaging: Came in a large cellophane slipcase bag with instructions, advice, straw, and some humor. Also came with a couple of nice stickers that I would not put on my car if you want any sympathy from Law Enforcement at 3 AM.

Other: FINALLY a useful mask that you don’t have to take off when drinking. Nice conversation starter and way of  showing you are careful about your habits, care about your fellow humans, and maybe less likely to have an STD ( O.K. it’s a theory, Why not !) Also, it can obscure that COVID beard or mustache that you are sporting as you can’t get a trim (or in the case of women, bleaching).

Final Thoughts: PRACTICE SAFE DRINKING! Show some respect and concern to your wait staff and bartenders by wearing this mask and using it. It will reduce their exposure to you, show you care, and maybe result in some better and faster service, maybe not. Tip well anyway and wear your mask to show support to those people that are making sure your alcohol and social lifelines stay lubricated and keep them safe and healthy too!


Great website with utterly amazing graphics and illustrations that are part Noir and part pulp fiction magazines at their most lurid.

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